How to Define Success on Your Own Terms: A Practical Framework
1️⃣ Identify Your Core Values
Ask yourself:
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What values light you up?
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What qualities do you admire in others?
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What principles do you refuse to compromise on?
Try the Values in Action (VIA) Survey by Dr. Martin Seligman—it’s a free, research-based tool to identify your signature strengths (VIA Institute, 2023).
2️⃣ Craft a Personal Success Statement
Write a one-sentence definition of success incorporating your values. Example:
“Success for me is growing creatively, nurturing my family relationships, and contributing positively to my community.”
This becomes your north star—a filter for big decisions.
3️⃣ Set Internal Benchmarks, Not External Ones
Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask:
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Am I more aligned with my purpose today than yesterday?
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Am I living according to my values?
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Do I feel fulfilled in my journey?
4️⃣ Allow Flexibility: Success Evolves
What you defined as success in your 20s may not serve you in your 40s. Revisit your success definition yearly to keep it aligned with who you’re becoming.
Real-Life Stories: Redefining Success
🔹 Oprah Winfrey redefined success from money and ratings to impact and meaning, famously saying: “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
🔹 Arianna Huffington, after collapsing from burnout at the height of her career, shifted her definition of success from power and wealth to well-being, wisdom, and wonder—what she now calls the “Third Metric” of success (Huffington, 2014).
Science Speaks: Why Personal Success Definitions Are Key
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People with intrinsic goals (personal growth, relationships) are happier than those with extrinsic goals (money, fame) (Kasser & Ryan, 1996).
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Aligning life with your self-concordant goals (goals stemming from personal interests) leads to higher persistence and well-being (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999).
This research makes it clear: when your definition of success is yours—not borrowed—your life flourishes.
Actionable Steps: Start Today
✅ Journal Prompt: What would you pursue if no one else’s opinion mattered?
✅ 30-Minute Reflection: What does a successful day look like for you personally?
✅ Accountability: Share your personal success definition with someone you trust for encouragement.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. What’s the first step to redefining success?
Start by reflecting on your core values—these form the foundation of an authentic definition of success.
2. Can my success definition change over time?
Absolutely! As your life circumstances, priorities, and passions evolve, your definition of success should adapt.
3. Why do external definitions of success feel unfulfilling?
Because they rarely align with your unique values, interests, and passions—leading to cognitive dissonance and dissatisfaction.
4. How do I know if my success goals are intrinsic?
Ask yourself: “Would I still pursue this if no one else ever knew about it?” If yes, it’s likely intrinsic.
5. How often should I review my success goals?
Review them at least once a year or whenever you experience major life changes like a new job, relationship, or relocation.
6. Is defining success alone enough to live a fulfilling life?
It’s a crucial start. But coupling your definition with daily habits and intentional choices creates a fulfilling life.
Conclusion: It’s Time to Reclaim Your Own Definition of Success
Success is not a destination; it’s a deeply personal journey. When you define success on your own terms, you reclaim your power, align with your truest self, and cultivate a life of meaning, joy, and fulfillment. Don’t let the world write your story—grab the pen, define success for yourself, and live it every day.
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